People naturally follow those who are most decisive, and are naturally repulsed by those who aren’t.
Be decisive in what you want.
From this moment on, you will never again be the guy who asks, “what do you want to go eat/do/see?”
You will simply say either, “Do you want to go to x or y?” or even better, say, “We’re going to go eat/do/see X”
Being, “considerate” of others ends up placing the burden of responsibility on them. Most people are absolutely clueless as to what they want. That’s why most people follow the well-trodden path; and it’s why 99% of America’s people own 1% of its money.
Decide what you want for yourself and go get it. Your friends and loved ones will follow along happily, or be left behind.
Hesitation is death.
The second you hesitate, you doubt yourself. There is no room in this world for hesitation.
If you hesitate to say hi to that cute girl in town, you will never again have the opportunity to do so.
If you hesitate to ask the knowledgeable and successful man a question about life, you will miss the opportunity to impress him and receive his mentorship.
Check out the section about conquering social anxiety from my How to Talk to Anyone, Anywhere, at Any Time blog to find a step-by-step guide to defeating hesitation.
Being decisive about what you want will turn you into a leader.
I have found that those who own themselves the most, or are the most decisive, are the de facto leaders of the group.
Let’s take the example of me and my friends walking upon a couple guys playing Magic: The Gathering.
I could walk up to the guys and say, “What in the actual hell are you doing with your lives? Life is happening men; quit wasting your time playing with cards, and go DO something!”
The other option I have is to say, “Yo guys, what’s good? Playing M:TG eh? Cool stuff. I’ll take on the winner.”
The first option would result in my friends following suit and thinking that these guys are wasting their lives away. The latter would result in my friends thinking that the guys playing cards are pretty cool and maybe start a group conversation including the card players.
The effect being, however, that my decisiveness sets the tone for the entire rest of the interaction.
Realise that for the most part, people need a leader. They are perfectly content not having to think about what to do and simply, “go with the flow”. Decide to put the work in to have a plan prepared, and reap the rewards of being the leader and protector of your tribe.