How Do I Want People to See Me?
Last week we began a series for finding your path and/or vision in life. This is the second part in which we look at the next of the seven questions which will help us to gain an understanding of ourselves. The first part, if you missed it, we explored the question “who do we envy?”
After you identify a person or type of person that you envy, and have thought about your archetype for personal development; begin to think about how you want others to feel towards you. This is important, as behaving with others in a way that builds you up internally is a big part of a person’s stability. Some people feel good about themselves if others think they are fair and impartial. However, the same people may feel out of place if others think of them as wealthy or like to engage them in debate. Discovering such insights into oneself may not be easy. Thus, you should start to pay attention to yourself and be honest about what makes you feel comfortable, complete, or relaxed; and about what makes you feel uneasy, overwhelmed, or unfulfilled.
For many of us, how we want people to see us will be a deep rooted desire due to something developed as a child; a self-defining flaw that we are struggling to overcome. For others of us, it may be best to align with a biological predisposition or strength that defines us; or even a strength that many family members adapt in similar ways. This may change in life as we become more aware of our own desires and needs as well. Think about this over the next week and use the list below as suggestions.
Once again, this list is not all-inclusive, but it will give you an idea of what kinds of things to think about regarding the way people view you. As we look at ways to engineer the aspects of your life cycle that pertain to people and situations, you will see that each person actually has a lot of control over where they position themselves in regard to how others interact with them. This exercise is designed to help us become aware of what makes us tick and how we want to shape our paths with the influences that make us the best version of ourselves.
Many of us have never explored this question; and work ourselves into a position, career, or level in life in which we do not enjoy. If the nature of the job we do, or the position we hold causes others to view us in a way that does not fulfill us personally, we may find ourselves not able to enjoy the processes involved. This removes one of the largest key aspects leading to success. If you are in a leadership role, knowing this about your team is very important, in order to have each of your employees enjoy working, you must give them approving rewards in the manner in which they want to be seen by others.
For an example, if someone wants people to see them as fair, and likes to be viewed as an expert; working for a sales organization in which high pressure biologically triggered sales are used to convince people to buy without thinking would be continuously uncomfortable. The repeated interface from others who view their transaction negatively would be a very unfulfilling environment for such a person.
Each person will have a unique interface desire. Take a week to be honest with yourself and determine how YOU work best. Next week we will explore the next question on the list of how to personalize a path that works for us.