The way you talk to yourself is the difference between those who are successful and the rest of humanity.
Is, “can’t” a part of your diction?
Do you talk to yourself the same way you would a close friend who needs help, or even a mentee?
No. Instead, you lock yourself in your mind and beat your sense of self senseless. You destroy yourself. “You’re worthless. Lazy. Not giving %120.” Screw that.
You need to talk to yourself like a coach would talk to his team.
Motivate yourself because no one else in this world will.
The world owes you NOTHING.
You will be the only person who is consistently and reliably there for you. If you don’t do that, you will destroy yourself.
How to change it?
Get out of your head on a consistent basis. You can do this with good exercise; and a fun process I demonstrate in the video in which you jump up and down, and shake, and hum to yourself until you feel grounded in your body again.
Remind yourself to be compassionate. There is no need to beat yourself up. You wouldn’t say those things to a friend. Don’t say them to yourself.
This a new habit you are forming, be aware that it will take time to change. Instead of getting angry at messing it up, simply right yourself and fix it. Over time, self coaching will become natural.
Finally, simply be aware of the need for a positive mental attitude.