The other day I got a new puppy for my girls. The proverbial problem arose immediately, one dog and two girls. If any of you have more than one child you know exactly the dynamic I am talking about. Why do we as people have to have our emotions addressed at the same time as others?
Watch the stock market for a while and you will see this play out on a large scale. A product or solution becomes popular and drives emotional desirability for many people at the same time. The stock price for that company goes through the roof. Everyone knows it will go up further in this initial buying than where it will end up in the future, but how far? Where does it settle out? Our emotions are triggered that we do not want to miss the price growth.
Back to my girls, they both had to hold the puppy at the same time. It was new, it was cute, and it was spending too much time with the other girl. Both girls start the biological triggers caused by emotion. The upset, the tears, the mad stomping, and the puppy is scared and hiding. How do we address these situations? Everyone knows we all have these type of reactions. People build off and react to each other’s biological triggers and we all in turn act badly.
Is it possible to look at these times with a perspective that can positively affect the lockup that happens between multiple peoples biological reactions? Here is some advice I give my girls at these times. Hopefully you can also apply in your own situations or even to yourself (to address you internal self-talk)
I said to them stop for a moment, think about the future for a second. Imagine you are tired, worn out, and the puppy has just kept you up half of the night for a few days. This day that is inevitably coming when you are now sick and you have to take the dog out. It is your turn, but you don’t want to do it, you want your sister to do it for you. You delayed and too long and the dog went on the floor. Now you have to clean up the mess after taking the dog out, followed by bathing the dog. In the process of the bath he is going to squirm and want to play and you are just tired of him.
I continued, now fast-forward you feelings to that day and reach for that emotion, how you will feel. The process and visual of this immediately showed on the girls faces as they sunk back to the realization that there would be as many days of not wanting the dog as enjoying the prospects and company which the dog provided.
Setting your own or others emotional state for the desired situation is something that we all can do and will actually have a great impact on our own lives. Reach out and fast-forwarding your emotions is a good process for doing this. Think about the resolution of the outcome, put yourself in the mindset associated with that time, and the situation will follow.
Use this same process in your business or organization meetings, when biological triggers push multiple people to react to each other’s emotions. Use this process to find the future commonality. Talk about the day when the item is resolved. When everyone has finally progressed from discord, to solution, than have resolved the solution, and are signing off on the project. Ask everyone to picture that day, and fast-forward their emotions to that point in time. Now ask what does the past look like from that emotional point in the future.
What we need is to remove the biological triggers and let everyone enjoy the process by interjecting successful feelings relating to when the uncertainty is resolved.
Enjoy the process, have a great day.